Saturday, September 09, 2006

Saturday Funnies

This is sort of a continuation of last week's funnies... So get a cup of coffee and enjoy while your children play in the yard. Some of them are pretty silly but bear with them... And, once again, I don't know where this comes from or who wrote it, so I can't attribute it to anyone. These narratives are pretty funny, though.

These are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears Hairdryer: ..."Do not use while sleeping." (and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos: ..."You could be a winner! No purchase neccesary. Details inside." (Shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial Soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how???...)

On some Swanson Frozen dinners: "Serving Suggestions: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well, a bit late...)

On Mark's & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating" (and you thought...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication" (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleeep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And...I'm taking this because...?)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only" (As opposed to... what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the >other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's Peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, Delta?")

On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

I don't blame the company. I blame the poarents for this one: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals" (was there a lot of this happening somewhere??)

Obviously these labels are there as a sueing precaution, but it really does demonstrate just how far one has to go these days! Did a boy's parents really go to court with the fact that their son did not fly when he put on a Superman costume?? Did someone really try ironing their clothes while they were wearing them?? Really, it makes you wonder .
~Sia, Vancouver, WA

one of us :: 7:10 AM :: 1 Comments