Monday, August 14, 2006Not Taking the Blessings of Motherhood for Granted
Sometimes I feel like I go through the days too quickly, with a list of agendas and to-dos. and I go and go, not stopping enough to "smell the flowers". I have a pretty contented litle child who is pretty much amiable and happy wherever we are, unless he is tired, ill or teething. This allows me to get a lot done. However, I take this for granted sometimes and realize, when looking back on the last few days, that rarely did I take out a solid chunk of time to be JUST with him, not doing anything else. -Rarely did I look into his eyes and talk to him about something, or play with him for an extended period of time, watching him learn and discover the wonders of his little hands and mind. -Rarely did I take him around the yard and show him a new plant or flower, walk him around the garden and feed him a cherry tomato or a fresh berry. -Rarely did I take him in my arms and make him giggle with that unique, innocent joy which only a child has...such sweet laughter!
I was reminded of this when I today had such a precious moment such as this and heard that sweet sound and really looked into his big beautiful eyes which trust me so completely and show such a fondness and love. This moment made me feel so unworthy and so blessed at the same time. These moments are precious and beautiful, yet so fleeting. It is especially important for me to keep this in mind during a stage in my life that is very trying and hard. Lately I've had the blues and have been struggling with various things, but if I look into my dear little one's little eyes it reminds me of everything that I am called to and of the joys that really matter in my life. I find myself today, after a long dry period of time, giving thanks for my child, his health, his joy. It is such a blessing!
I don't want my little Aidan to reach the age of 19 and be saying to myself, "Why didn't I spend more time with him? Why did I always have to be DOING something while he played happily? Why didn't I spend more little moments with him, watching him grow?" I'd rather look back on his life and know confidently that although time moves quickly and children grow so incredibly fast, that I spent ample time with him and didn't waste a moment. I really hope to someday feel assured of that.
It's this joy I have in these little moments which have really kept me from becoming involved in too many extra activities and duties. -The role of a mother is so fulfilling and busy in itself, that if I don't NEED to do anything extra, such as have a side business or teach a class, then why do it? I'd rather spend each of those spare moments with my little one!
~Sia in Vancouver